Last week, I posted about the unlikely blessings of raising our “large” family in a “small” space. This week, I thought I’d write a little about the other side of the small apartment coin, the one where things are just as blessed but where the blessings are a little bit harder to find some times.
1) Nerves. I often find all of us, myself included especially, pointing out things that are getting on our nerves. These range from the ubiquitous, “He’s looking at me!”, to the far subtler hummings, and chatterings, and the odd nudgings. Nerves are frayed more easily in tight quarters, when there’s no where to hide.
2) Storage. While it is spiritually beneficial to have to deal regularly one’s “stuff” and to learn to discern and detach, it is also kind of hard, especially for kids. Of course no one needs 85 stuffed animals, but often children do not understand this. Forcing this separation from worldly goods is usually accompanied by plentiful crying and gnashing of teeth. It’s not only toys that we don’t have the room for but food. Shopping in bulk may be ideal for large families but it is almost impossible when one lives in an apartment with a kitchen the size of a shoe box.
3) Seating. When we found out we were expecting our sixth child, and we told out other children, we were expecting many answers, but not this one: One of my sons burst into tears and asked, in all seriousness, “But then I won’t fit on the couch!” Silly us, we hadn’t thought about the fact that we only have one three-seater couch in the joy of expecting another child. We explained to him the fact that there would always be a seat for him and this calmed him immensely, but the fact of the matter is that we won’t always have a seat for everyone on the couch and we can’t fit another one in this place. While it makes for cozy snuggles, it also makes for sore laps for mom and dad. (Also, lest anyone should think ill of him for preferring a seat to a sister, this little boys loves his siblings, especially the baby).
4) We. Share. Everything. Especially germs. Living in close quarters leads to sharing, and this is almost always a good things. However, I could do without it during cold and flu season. When one of us gets sicks, it’s like watching a wobbly set of dominoes fall before the slightest puff of a spring breeze. There’s no stopping it. There’s nowhere to hide quarantine the sick child. The worst part is that eventually I get to “share” in the love as well. Ah, the joys of a small space filled with lots of tiny people.
All in all, looking at this list, I still find myself being thankful for the joys and the trials of living here. Regardless of our space, we would have to rid ourselves of excess (toys, clothing, books, everything) simply because it’s not a good habit to keep it. This apartment simply forces us to actually act on those better impulses. Would life be easier with more space? Quite possibly, yes. But it could also be much harder. This space may be filled to the brim, but it is filled with love and laughter, if at times, also with bickering and taunting. While the downsides may be easier to point out, the upsides are the ones I intend on keeping as the focus of my daily life.
