Children are great mimics. I usually remember this, unfortunately, a few moments after I’ve blurted out something that was, probably, not the best thing for my kids to hear. For instance, I say “jack ass” a lot. It’s my go to word for lousy drivers and politicians and everything in between. Once, my son (who was five), told his babysitter that, “Some jack ass just rang the doorbell and then left. Mommy says it happens all the time.” (Just to clarify, to me, the term “jack ass” is basically a classier version of a curse word. In this post, at least, I’m not trying to offend anyone’s sensibilities.) I had never said that actually, but I had called many a person a jack ass. They’re great mimics.
Knowing this, I think most parents try to set a better example for their children. They try to watch their language and be mindful of their manners. We try to share our good habits and hide our bad ones. We want to pass on to our children all that is best in us and hope that these little mimics we’re raising will try to copy what they see. One habit I’m working on sharing with my children is that of being thankful. Thankfulness is most definitely a habit and one that needs to be practiced every day if we are to be thankful for the blessings and the crosses in life.
I think most of us find it very easy to say thank you when we receive something, a gift for instance, or a favor, even a glass of water. We find it easy to be thankful for all the good things in life: our faith, our families, our homes, our jobs; all the things that make life easier or happier are things that we say “thank you” for on a daily basis, and especially on Thanksgiving. It’s the other stuff, the less pleasant things, such as the annoying neighbor, the old woman at Mass who talks loudly to her friend after Communion, Obamacare, that we usually find it harder to appreciate. In essence, we as a society rarely think of our crosses as things for which we should be thankful.
The thing is: they are.
They absolutely are. The way to heaven, as we are told by Christ, is to take up our cross and follow Him. Embracing our crosses helps us get to heaven. Isn’t that something we should be thankful for?
In essence, we as a society rarely think of our crosses as things for which we should be thankful.
The thing is: they are.
It’s hard to explain this to our kids rationally though. Saying thank you for something that hurts doesn’t make sense to most adults, let alone to children. With something like this, it’s easier to lead by example, to show them how to be thankful and what to be thankful for, to help them develop a habit of being thankful and expressing it. After all, “First we make our habits; then our habits make us.” If I, as the mother, show them that I am thankful for the opportunity to offer up a sacrifice when given the chance, it sends a powerful message to my child that a cross is something worthy of giving thanks. Instead of showing my frustration with drivers who cut me off on the road, I can say “thank you” to Jesus for giving me the chance to let others go ahead of me and place myself last. Instead of grumbling about making the dinner (a personal trial for me every day), I can show my family that I am happy to offer up my time and talent in service of them and their needs. As my children grow older, I find myself telling them to be thankful that they have little brothers and sisters who are helping them get to heaven, even as they are driving them crazy. I’m trying to raise them in the habit of thankfulness.
First we make our habits; then our habits make us.
There are opportunities every day and in every aspect of life to demonstrate for our children how to be thankful. Some of them are just harder to recognize than others. We teach our children to say thank you when they receive just about anything. Why not teach them to be thankful for everything?
