A few days ago, I read this article about how couples who are intentional or decisive about their actions and decisions as a couple are more likely to have successful marriages than couples who simply go with the flow, or let life dictate their decisions.
While the finding may seem obvious, the reality is that many couples avoid real decision-making. Many couples living together, for instance, did not sit down and talk about cohabitation. Often one partner had begun spending more time at the other’s home, or a lease expired, forcing the couple to formalize a living arrangement.
In other words, the simple act of regularly sitting down and talking about a decision, like living together before marriage, makes a huge difference in your overall future together. Again, forgive me if this all sounds obvious, but I’m beginning to realize that the same kind of conversations have to occur between the parents (and children, eventually) if your desire is to live as a Catholic family. I love to sit down and talk about things with my husband, but I don’t know that we’ve ever specifically discussed how we’re going to be a Catholic family.
I’m just beginning my life as a mom, but I can honestly say I’ve done a pretty sub-par job being a “Catholic” mom. I could blame it on the fact that my husband is deployed or that our parish isn’t super helpful to young families, but the stubborn fact remains: I’ve just been getting by and going through the motions with my faith. We go to Mass each week, sometimes the baby comes, sometimes he stays home with family. I don’t remember the last time I prayed a rosary. I pray for friends and family, but I don’t have a strong prayer life. Isn’t that where it all begins?
If you want your family to be a Catholic family, you and your spouse are the ones who must make that happen. Going to Mass once a week and reading (or writing) Catholic blogs doesn’t cut it. We need goals, however humble. Mine include saying the rosary with our son once a week and entering important feast days onto my phone calendar, so I know in advance to do something special for them. Some conversations I intend on having with my husband are:
What practical steps can we take to make prayer and Catholicism a part of our kid’s (and our) daily lives?
What feast days or holy days do we want to particularly emphasize throughout the year?
What goals should we set in terms of daily Mass attendance or Confession?
What can we do, for each other, to enhance our prayer lives (watching the kids so the other can do spiritual reading or go to Confession?
We’ve promised God and the Church to raise our kids in the Church. What could possibly be a bigger commitment? We are responsible for these tiny souls! We all know that raising kids isn’t about a few random conversations you have about sex or Church teaching, it’s about setting an example for every day living. So, let’s make a plan and stick to it!